The phrase that finally made sense after 40 years

I was up late, sifting through old correspondence, and came across a line from a 1980s treaty that I'd always glossed over. Tonight it clicked: 'mutual deference' isn't about politeness — it's about leaving room for the other party to save face. The whole architecture of diplomacy hinges on that one small allowance. Funny how a word can open up at 4am.